Fan att Eleanor gick femtioelvatusenåttiosju kilometer bakom mig eftersom hon hade vattenflaskan som jag behövde vid denna hemska fucking hetta.

 

Fuck.

 

Vi hoppade in i bilen och jag höll nästan på att dö på grund av näringsbrist, men jag använde all min kraft till ett försök att sätta mig på sätet. Men eftersom jag inte hade en gnutta koordination i min kropp, studsade jag upp från sätet och ner på golvet. Med ögon som halvsov höll jag ett krampaktigt tag om min kära bakdel.

 

"You're so clumsy Fame," flinade irländaren och jag skickade en hotfull blick i hans håll men kom sen på att mina ögon var stängda.

 

 

Någon tog tag i mina överarmar och lyfte mig upp på sätet. Halvvägs på väg att somna mumlade jag ett tack och lutade mig mot närmsta axel. Denna var extremt benig så jag antog att det var Eleanor.

 

Beniga jävel...

 

**

 

"Oh yeah! Gimme some of that! Just like that baby! Aaaaargh, you are so sexy doing that!"

 

I was honestly on the verge of leaving this photo shoot. At first I had found the photographer's sexual innuendo's hilarious, but after a while I was growing more and more irritated at the Australian man. Once more I leaned over the table top, hiding my annoyed façade and plastered an innocent look on my face.

 

Australia's Vogue had called my agent the day before and asked if they could book in a photo shoot.

 

Everybodey lovez me yo'.

 

 

Though I had to admit this was probably one of the funniest shoots I had ever been on! Mostly because they had fed me with 183451873458194803275984610 bottles of coke, so now my energy was through the roof.

 

"Grrrr, who's your daddy! Oh my, you so fine! Show me those lush curves! And... we're finished, thank you everyone!" Marco yelled and rushed towards me. "It had been a great pleasure shooting you today. It's not often one of the most influential models of this world, lands here down under!"

"Say whaaa...?"

 

 

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY?!?!?!

 

He completely ignored my answer and walked past me. So much for hospitality... With my Malik-genes stepping in, I angrily stomped my foot on the ground.Completely forgetting I wore high heels, I lost balance and stumbled around and fell on my face.

 

"Awch." I muttered with my face plastered to the floor.

 

I rolled over so I was laying on my back before standing up and storming out from set. Not leaving the clothes I was wearing, which was a very revealing white blouse and red short short short short shorts. It was probably a pair of really big panties in real life.

 

They actually looked a lot like my grandma's if I was going to be honest...

 

And before you ask, yes, I have seen my dear paki grandmother in her underwear once. It will never, never, happen again...

 

It still haunts me to this very day....

 

I walked as fast as the clumsy Jeffery Campbell shoes let me. I earned a few looks from people on the street but my eyes was fixed on the big Range Rover many metres away. Paul must've seen me coming cause the car drove closer so I could just hop in.

 

"How do girls dress these days?!" he exclaimed as soon as I placed my bum on the passengers seat.

"Don't ask me. I can't even dress myself properly, so I would never know what goes through the rest of the world's population of girls!" I said as he drove away.

 

We chatted about my panties/shorts for the rest of the ten minute long car ride. He said it looked like his wife's big panties she wore when she was pregnant. I sincerely hoped Paul wasn't comparing me to his pregnant wife, cause if he did I would probably go jump off a cliff. No offense to Paul, but I wouldn't chose him to become my baby daddy.

 

We all know who that would be...

 

Harry Styles with his sexy smile, broad shoulders, pointless tattoos and abnormally large hands.  

 

Did you hear that sound...?

 

It was the sound of me, taking off my shorts.

 

HARRY STYLES. IMPREGNATE ME.

 

"I'm going to try that I didn't just hear that," Paul said with a strained tone.

"I said that out loud right...?" I asked and hit my head forcefully against the window. "Ouch!"

 

I rubbed my forehead and groaned.

 

Could this day get any better?

 

 

**

 

After I arrived back at the hotel, all I wanted was to take a long and well needed nap. But no. Apparently the boys had ordered an adventure thingy on a big ass boat. Yes you heard me. I could lie and say I was actually excited to be on a boat. But no. Because I couldn't swim, I was terribly afraid of water. And no, I have no clue why mine and Zayn's parents decided not to teach us to swim when we were younger.

And another reason why I was going to hate this stupid trip. I had to bear with seeing Harry in nothing but trunks for an entire day.

 

 

I hated Harry Styles and his hotness with a burning passion. So why Ghandi, why am I attracted to a fucking baby face with curls?!

 

I needed to sort my life out. Fast!

 

 

So now I was sat on a boat. With five morons, one slut and my Ellephant. Tell me again how you want to have my life...? That's right. You don't!

 

I'm probably going to die alone with my 72 cats.

 

After all I am a lonely wolf....

 

Aaoooooooooouuuuuuuuu.

 

The sun was burning my skin. I was part Irish after all, which meant I was pretty pale. I watched the others bathe and have fun in the water. A scream suddenly pierced my ears. I couldn't see Sutton anymore. Niall stood on the smaller boat with a smug face. I bet he pushed her into the water. She returned to the surface after a few seconds, sending every curse she knew in Niall's direction. She was so going to make him pay for that.

 

Pay for it as in bodily favours...

 

If you understand what I'm talking about...

 

Wink.

 

"How come you nor Zayn can swim?" I heard someone say behind me. I immediately knew who the voice belonged to.

"I don't know Styles. Ask my parents." I muttered. "Why are you up here anyway? Shouldn't you be down there?"

 

He shrugged and stepped closer; I was still not facing him. His torso sneaked up against my back slowly and I my breath hitched in my throat. He wasn't directly touching me, but it was still so arousing to find him almost grinding me!

 

 

"Who should grind you?" Harry asked, his voice sounding amused.

"Oh, shush!"

 

 

I felt his breath tickle my neck and it sent shivers down my spine. The others drove the smaller boat they were currently on to the decks on the backside of the yacht. It was time to continue our trip along the Australian harbour.

 

Or should I say... The Harbour down under...

 

Everything about this country was so bloody sexual it made my brain go all fussy. Firstly calling it "Down Under", secondly that the large island was shaped as a bum and thirdly... Uh... The uh.. I-. Oh whatever.

 

And the best thing of all; the good part hasn't even started yet.

 

I love Australia.